My husband and I have been married for five years. Yes – I know it’s a baby marriage in the grand scheme of time, but the milestone felt significant. For us, it has meant new jobs, buying our first home, two (almost three) children, and countless times of learning and growth in how to be better for ourselves and one another.
Marriage, like any relationship, is not always easy. Yes – there are times full of joy and life. My husband is the one that can make me laugh the hardest, always has some comment to bring a smile to my face. Our kids light up when he walks through the door each night, and to hear their little feet run toward his open arms will never cease to light up my heart. However, there are also memories that I have that are marked with frustration. We are people and we fail. We make snide comments in the wrong tone, we forget how to act with charity, we are selfish, and we disagree – with big things, like how to raise our kids, or little things, like who is going to clean the bathroom. But, there is no other partner I would rather have in my life. Our marriage, some days my greatest challenge, is also my greatest success.
Every year, on our anniversary, my husband and I write in separate journals as a reflection on the past year as well as hopes and goals for the coming one. This was the first year that it truly felt we were on the same page when we shared what we had each written. Many of our reflections, and the hopes and goals for what lay ahead were similar.
One of the goals for this past year was to spend more time as a couple. I know this is probably a goal for many of us. And, if you are anything like us, we can push it aside for something that feels more pressing. But, we have come to realize, that this time should be sacred. Our relationship with one another is the foundation for our family, and it should be strong and healthy in order to build upward.
We started off the new year with a long trip with just the two of us – our first for this long without our kids. We went to Colorado for a few days over New Year’s. We spent time in the mountains hiking and snowshoeing. We lounged in coffee shops reading books, talking, and playing countless games of Cribbage. We were lazy about getting up in the morning and ate meals at what would be odd times (for our kids anyway). Our days had no schedule. Although it took us a day or two to get into just being us, the time together was priceless.
Your time away with your partner does not always have to include a plane ride, but the effort is what makes the time worth it. Maybe it could be an overnight downtown with breakfast at your favorite diner. Maybe you could come to a Blooma yoga class together and get a cup of coffee on your way home, just to make the time together a bit longer. Maybe you could go on a long walk through a neighborhood you don’t really know well, but have always wanted to familiarize yourself with. Think about it, talk about it with your partner, and really try to make it a priority in this fresh new year. For us, the time away together, to focus on one another and our relationship, helped us remember why we even decided to be in this marriage in the first place – we really like one another!
Written by Shea Olson- Wife & Mama Trying to Make it All Work
**Take some time with your partner and join us for Partner Yoga, February 18th in Minneapolis.