It was 4am as I climbed back into bed with the pregnancy stick in my hand and a towel covering it to hide "the results," my body was gently trembling ... but not as much as my mind. Under the towel were pink lines that would 100% change the future of my family. I played through the scenarios of what each line would represent to Brian and me. There would be a deep disappointment and a relief if there was only one line. And two? Well, two lines represented, HOLY SHIT how did that happen?! Accompanied with feelings of joy for what I have wanted for a long time. But how to do it all?!
I could go on and on about the stories I played out in my head. So there we were, holding the stick as I said a prayer out loud. We pulled back the towel and two light pink lines were staring at our stoned morning faces. We turned to one another for a long time and embraced like never before. I sobbed in Brian's arms. Tears of joy, tears of relief (that at 40 I am still fertile), and tears of enormous "how am I going to do it all?"
And now, here we are 5 weeks after revealing double lines and I am still in disbelief. So far I am learning that second pregnancies are WAY different than firsts! The biggest difference is a familiar one to many of you. I feel less "connected" to this baby/pregnancy because of Ms. Metta and my full, busy life. So with that, I am going to need to be more conscious with daily choices and how to spend my time. It is dropping me into what truly matters.
I am definitely more emotional this time around as well: knowing this will be my last pregnancy, an uncle dying of Alzheimer's, a best friend's miscarriage and wondering how I am going to do it all have added in layers of feelings that I did not experience with Metta.
I look forward to having each one of you on this journey with me. And once again I will be teaching prenatal yoga PREGNANT and loving it. I will resonate with all the pregnant Moms and we will do this together. Thank goodness we have one another. I am so very grateful for Blooma. And well ... come to think of it, while this pregnancy is kicking my 1st trimester booty, my team is busy getting ready to birth another studio. Blooma Plymouth is opening May 1 with FREE CLASS all day! We can't wait for you to meet our newest addition.
Love and hugs to you all!